Oh dear. Saturday, was an interesting night to say the least. Katrine, Georgia and Miriam started off the night on a rather sober note. Having gone to Coq D’argent for dinner with Georgia’s parents, it all seemed to be going rather smoothly. Yes some champagne and Malbec were consumed, but they made it to Bedroom Bar in one piece and things were soon back to normal.
Jaeger bombs were being consumed, red wine was being glugged back and some cucuracha was also necked back. However, something did not feel right, none of the girls could get into that usual spirit. ‘More alcohol needs to be consumed,’ suggested Georgia, the girls nodding their head in agreement. Georgia scrambled around in her bag to find her purse – shit fuck, it was no where. What were they going to do, they desperately wanted to stay out but money gets you everywhere nowadays doesn’t it.
Their night suddenly took a turn for the worse, as the last dosage of alcohol slowly began to leave their system, the future of the night looked bleak. Lets dance – they thought. As they made their way to the dance floor, a familiar face could be seen near the stage – it was Mr Coitus. Georgia froze, Katrine froze and Miriam giggled. Like the night could not have got any worse?
They so needed to get some more alcohol in them. Katrine decided to run back to the flat to escape Mr Coitus and grab her card. Georgia and Miriam continued to dance to the great music that was on that night. Once Katrine arrived back with her card, the girls began to drink and drink. Now, Georgia fully aware of the whole situation decided not to get too drunk, but Katrine – well she was on a role that night.
Suddenly Mr Coitus approached the three girls, he smiled – ‘I like the blog post’ he said with his thick Italian accent. ‘Mr Coitus, it is very funny, I am Mr Coitus.’ The girls cringed, they stood there frozen, nodding at the Italian. Dutch courage had obviously taken over Katrine, ‘Yes it is about you..’ she sneered at him, ‘I’m Italian and everyone wants to fuck me,’ she said as she impersonated his accident. Suddenly, her eyes looked a little hazy. Georgia buried her head in her hands and it was left to Miriam to talk to him.
There was Georgia trying to hold Katrine up as she made some rather explicit facial expressions behind his back. Suddenly, the night drew to a close and that moment of awkwardness came round again. It was time for us all to leave. Georgia smiled pleasantly and said bye, Miriam smiled and Katrine giggled goodbye.
As they sat there reflecting on the night, Georgia decided to check her facebook, where a message from Mr Coitus awaited her – It read:
MC :That was funny, the Mr Coitus thing
G: Yes, very funny.. take it as a compliment
MC: What are you doing now? Sharing my text with everybody or can we have a chat
G: Yes we can have a chat
MC: Where are you now, i am almost at home
G: still at the bar
MC: if you want to have a chat you know where i live… YOUKNOWWHATIMEAN
Georgia did know what he meant, and yes she did want a ‘chat’…but it was just not the right time.
Oh I cant believe I had hope that this would be a vast improvement on the utter useless attempt at writing you deluded women are trying to achieve.
Please stop as the only thing that reads well are the first two words of this nonsense.
it is not about the writing for pete’s sake, it is something we do quickly as a laugh to document what happens. But yet again Jonathan you have read it. If you don’t like it there is a simple solution to your problem.
If you act like such a smart alec, then you should know what it is.
How about you stop reading it then? or are you yet another drama queen looking for inspiration to further your oh so insignificant life in conversation to others by discussing just how drab the world is in your own small circles, hence deflecting from how uneventfully boring your own life actually is? It was short, to the point, and above all honestly unembellished.
Keep it coming girls. Good stuff.
And on one last note, the world would be a much friendlier place if people were kind, supportive and inspiring, rather than bitchy, dismissive and conceitedly narcissistic.
thank you so much for that. I know we have a had a lot of negative comments, but we are some young girls who just want to have a bit of fun and share it with people who enjoy it. Not with boring and to be quite honest rude people like Jonathan Teddington.
Haha, I love reading this! Love the honesty.